Oral sex: pleasure or disgust?

Nearly all claim today that it is pleasant to them. In fact the cunnilingus cause rejection in some women. From where this duality?

“I do not kiss” – Julia Roberts’s heroine, the prostitute says in the movie “Beauty”. For someone this phrase – a symbol of the pragmatic sex deprived even of a romanticism shadow. For 40-year-old Laura, the designer of jewelry, it sounds as a bitter reminder on time lived without love. In Laura there is nothing from the woman of “easy virtue”. Frostily and modestly, as if apologizing for the good luck, she tells about how its fate was: happy second marriage, two children and success in the professional sphere.

To look from outside – it seems that all as in the fairy tale. But it only seems. “Once I told the first husband: “I more you will not kiss. I do not kiss”. And since this moment I any more never wanted to bring it pleasure kisses or that preliminary caress which so were pleasant to us. It was followed by ten years of a depression”.

taking panties off

Practice with meanings

Almost all who have sex have oral sex. According to the research conducted by the Tiburon Research company in 2012 by request of Psychologies, 76% of women tried oral sex at least once. But the few decide to admit that to them it “not to try” – in literal and figurative sense.

“Even in a conversation among themselves it is hard for women to admit disgust for a filiation – Laura assures. – My many friends repeat that they love it because they want to make an impression of free, not diffident women. But actually, it not absolutely so”. Someone does not like taste or consistence of sperm, the movements of a penis in a mouth cause an emetic reflex in someone.

    The woman is especially attracted by those men whose smell is not similar to a smell of her father

“Unlike vaginal sex both the taste, and touch, and sense of smell participate in oral – the sexologist Damyen Maskre explains. – Happens so that the type of the partner excites, and his smell causes fastidiousness”. Researches in the field of neurology proved that the woman is especially attracted by those men whose smell is not similar to a smell of her father. So there is an unconscious selection of genes for the birth of viable posterity.

“An important role in oral sex is played also by hygiene – the sexologist Irina Ayriyants adds. – If its rules are followed, then such practice excites the woman rather. Prejudices or the unsuccessful previous experience can prevent”.

The mutual licking is a part of sexual interaction at all primacies whose also we are among, people. Strangely enough, it can avert from oral sex. “To lick – means to assimilate to an animal. It is humiliating!” – 26-year-old Kira says. And 35-year-old Yulia considers that filiation offends the dignity of the woman. To know what are the ways people prefer to oral sex watch live webcam sex with people having sex in real life and streaming live. Ask them anything about oral sex.

For someone oral sex can be a synonym of the replacing sexuality. “Prior to the beginning of sex life of the girl pass the petting period, have sexual satisfaction, exciting erogenous zones without contact of genitals through kisses, embraces, strokings – Irina Ayriyants explains. – And only then they pass to stimulation of genitals with hands and oral stimulation. Perhaps, for this reason someone perceives oral caress as an unripe form of sex”.

To oral sex is more often than others couples which live in those areas where the tradition demands maintaining virginity till a marriage resort. Besides, and until now the religious bans on oral sex work. But also there is no unambiguity: this circumstance in certain cases strengthens pleasure, feeding it with feeling of violation of former taboos.

How to feel yourself

Sex is a spontaneous creativity: here it is possible to play, use the freedom, to feel special and to enjoy that all rights for our feelings belong to ourselves. Sex means ability to give and receive, trust and gain trust, to dominate and submit. Our roles are not set once and for all, we can change and think out them new.

But to coercion in sex not the place: here only a game in violence, sexuality – one of expressions of our desires is admissible. If it is awkward to us to have oral sex, there is no sense of to it to force. There are many other ways to receive and give pleasure. The most important thing that is a choice made with free will.

feel yourself

Depth of feelings

“I ceased to kiss the husband and to have with him oral sex that day when, without having realized it yet, ceased to love it – Laura continues. A mouth – one of the most erogenous zones of our body. Readiness or refusal to caress the partner lips and language show, are how big or, on the contrary, the proximity and trust in couple are insufficient.

“In a usual kiss there is more intimacy, than in some sexual intercourses” – the family psychotherapist Inna considers. Laura tried to understand all ten years of the depression why kisses suddenly to it became disgusting. She read books, listened that is told by people of different age and a circle.

“I even came to courses of group psychotherapy to understand it. I was especially struck by the story by one woman from group, Olga. She hated kissing, the thought of blowjob caused in it shudder, and in sex she preferred that the partner was behind it. But once she fell in love stronger, than happened before. And suddenly she wanted all this. It turned all her sexual life. She then was 54 years old”.

    Neither himself, nor the partner should be forced to something. However, it is worth tempting, offering and trying

“Having oral sex, the woman sees directly before herself genitals of the partner. They differ from its own – and it cannot be pleasant – Damyen says. – But the strong feeling helps to overcome hostility. New feelings and emotions overflow with the head, and the pleasure gets the best of fastidiousness”.

Happens, alas, and in a different way: we do something, forcing ourselves to overcome disgust, for fear to be thrown. “It is bad practice – Inna says. – Violence over itself can lead to the fact that over time any forms of sex will cease to bring joy.

Neither himself, nor the partner should be forced to something. However, it is worth tempting, offering and trying. Increase of excitement opens new ways of pleasure with each other. At such moments former barriers fall and the bans disappear”.

Sex without penetration – for men is sometimes a way not to connect itself by obligations, to have satisfaction, avoiding emotional bond. “For the same reason some women perceive as humiliation – Inna explains. – But in love couple oral caress finds absolutely other sense: they show trust and desire to make to another pleasant”.

Without coercion

“I managed to be exempted from disgust when I met the person who understands me and does not demand anything that I do not want or I cannot give it – worrying, Laura says. – I remembered that the love is when we give and we accept. And the more we accept, the more we want to give. Pleasure leads pleasure. But it demands care and tenderness”.

Because in oral sex depends on the partner, perhaps, more, than in any other. At all everything happens differently, and each case reveals new secrets of love alchemy. Today Laura is excited because that can give to Oleg a set of pleasures: “I go for it then because of the so much “I do not kiss” that now I like to repeat, approaching his lips or a penis: “Watch how I kiss you!”

“Erotic books changed everything”

Natalia, 26

“At a view of men’s body I always wanted to turn away. I love sex, but to bring closer it to a mouth… And the cunnilingus was not pleasant to me too. I tried to overcome myself to give to the man pleasure, but rejection was stronger. I know the reason: in the childhood I saw in the park of the exhibitionist – it showed me the penis. The fear and disgust and remained somewhere inside.

But once the girlfriend advised me to read good erotic literature, especially the books written by women. I began with classics – opened for myself the first erotic best-sellers. Then read stories by Anaïs Nin “The novel of a nonexistent animal” Olga. And with surprise found out that I like to read the detailed description of oral caress in the poetic world of the books. Over time I ventured again to try it with the partner – and suddenly understood that there is no disgust any more”.

Written by Lizzy